Cultivating Generosity

"At last! An insightful book about cultivating generosity from a generous lay leader and donor, and not from a professional fundraiser or clergy leader. Rem Stokes alone knows more about the psychology of donors-and has demonstrated that insight over more years-than a whole busload of ministers and consultants put together. If you want to understand how to change the culture of your congregation or group in the direction of abundance, not scarcity, this is your guidebook."


-Rev. John Buehrens, former president of the Unitarian Universalist Association


Money pervades all aspects of our lives, but we dare not discuss it for fear of touching the proverbial "third rail." The discomfort we experience may be that it reveals more than we want it to. All individuals fear rejection and want acceptance. And money becomes the agent of compensation, the "hopium" of the masses.


But it is a false hope. Money is extrinsic and can only buy external things. Money simply cannot buy the things most worth having.


Wherever there is pain or embarrassment, there is essential learning to be done.


I believe churches should address the stranglehold that money has on our attitudes. Churches cannot be truly relevant to their members' real-life issues without addressing the money dimension that underlies their attitudes and behaviors. You cannot compartmentalize a person into secular and spiritual categories without damaging his wholeness.


This book addresses that issue head on. Churches need programs that let money permeate the environment in a wholesome and constructive way. Those programs should help overcome the reluctance to discuss money and cultivate a culture of generosity. This book provides a set of exercises and a rationale for churches to achieve these goals, moving members from self-interest to self-esteem.