Don't Shit in My Hat and Tell Me It Fits

"If Archie Bunker had TiVo, he'd be the Kid from Brooklyn." --VH1
The perpetually pissed off and potty-mouthed Kid from Brooklyn, famous for classic video rants like "Starbucks" and "Bat Day," is back for more, spewing contempt for virtually everything in twenty-first-century American culture, unabashedly letting you know why "the world is comin' to a f*ckin' end." Now in his second book of unedited outraged observations, the Kid mouths off on all that America holds dear--or not:
The Kid On Marriage:
"I been married and I been in prison. There's no f*ckin' difference. Except sometimes the food is better in prison."
The Kid On Men Versus Women:
"I'd rather be a man than a woman any day. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you, all your orgasms are real, and if you retain water, it's in a canteen."
The Kid On Gun Control:
"The liberals are crying, '100,000 people were killed by handguns last year.' Would it make the liberals feel any better if them 100,000 people were pushed out of friggin' windows?"
The Kid On Men Wearing Sandals:
"I don't even wanna look at my own feet, and I sure as hell don't wanna look at someone else's. What we need is Foot Police--you got ugly feet and wear sandals in public, it's a $250 fine."
The Kid On Britney Spears:
"She's like the chick you had the hots for in high school and see at the ten-year reunion. She's gained sixty pounds, smokes unfiltered Camels, she's divorced with two bratty kids, and works at a take-out joint."
The Kid On This Book:
"Buy it or don't buy it, what the hell do I care?"
And a buttload more about the good old days of growing up in Canarsie and the cast of screwballs, crazies, perverts, gangsters, retards, losers, and whack-jobs who made Brooklyn the garden spot of the world.
Anyway, think about it, you mook.
Mike Caracciolo, aka the Kid From Brooklyn, was born in Canarsie, a tough-as-nails blue-collar neighborhood. He's worked at number of professions, most notably as a ticket broker for sporting events and Broadway shows. He's appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live and two episodes of The Sopranos and his videos have been featured on YouTube and VH1. One of the Kid's most popular videos, Starbucks 2, has been chosen as one of the top fifty best online videos by VHI's WebJunk.com. He's author of Go F*** Yourself: The Kid from Brooklyn's Book of Rants and Other Stuff, and lives in Fort Lee, New Jersey. Visit his website at www.thekidfrombrooklyn.com. You got a problem with that?