My Daddy's Promise

One night, Carl W. Kenney II received a phone call that forced a decision. A neighbor found his father naked and unconscious on the bathroom floor. If not for the neighbor dropping by to check on his daddy, he would have died. It was not the first time. It was difficult for his daddy to manage life alone. This time was different. It was time to make a decision to become his father's caregiver.


My Daddy's Promises: Lessons Learned Through Caregiving is the story of Carl's experience as his father's caregiver. It begins with a decision. On that night, Carl agonized as tears baptized his soul in preparation for a new type of ministry. Going home was complicated by memories of what he left to discover comfort in Durham, North Carolina. Home conjured thoughts of submission to white supremacy. Home made it harder to climb from under a pile of limitation - some perceived, some self-inflicted, some real - to fulfill his dreams. The thought of caregiving involved more than taking care of his daddy. It was a journey to face his fears.


Carl was not prepared to address the challenges he faced when he returned home to become his father's caregiver. He felt failure when his daddy's health declined. He felt anger when other family members did little to help carry the load. Mingled with the good days were days consumed with sadness, disgust, regret, fear and stress. Making the decision to go home was the hardest decision he ever made. It was also the best decision he ever made.


It is a truth shared by caregivers - the best and the worst in the decision. There are lessons in caregiving. Some you learn in the moment. Others come after it all ends. There are lessons regarding the life with others. There are lessons about living with decisions and failures. These lessons challenge us to move beyond assumptions regarding what it means to live with massive confusion. Where is God in all of this? How much more can I take?


My Daddy's Promise: Lessons Learned in Caregiving is a journey to discover meaning when everything begins to fade. It is a moving mixture of theology, self-care and memoir, revealing the experience of a black man's love for his father. Carl helps us understand caregiving with deeper clarity from the point of view of a minister bold enough to ask, "where is God in this?" Carl wants us to understand that caregiving is not only about loss - it is also a celebration of lessons learned and promises kept.