The Courtship of Life

Every adult - parent, grandparent, or friend - who takes the time to court the children in their lives will discover an inner joy. I believe life's possibilities and opportunities are endless. My aim is to present an ongoing method for open-door conversations and negotiations between parents and children that will empower the child to taste life to the fullest. Hodding Carter said, "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: One of these is roots; the other, wings." This book offers roots, so that each child can use them with self-esteem and confidence to try his wings and fly.
I wrote this book to begin a dialog with my first grandchild. I wanted to help him find viable options in questionable situations, and so spare him some of the fear, anguish, and guilt that life often presents to children today. I also wrote this book out of my own need to share some of the important actualities I have come to know and believe, to give parents and grandparents, friends and mentors everywhere some support in the vital task of cultivating and nurturing healthy children.
This book presents a joint effort for adult and child - for the adult, the deep satisfaction of seeing the face of a child who is loved; and for the child, a fun way to learn deductive and problem-solving skills, values, social skills and manners.
For the past forty years I have taught foreign languages to high school students in California and Oregon. Teaching has been my passion, and I have also learned continuously from my students and from their parents. I've learned that life is continually shifting its balance between positive and negative events, and that it is a rare person who can face both calmly and gracefully without a strong background of coherent values, a strong self-image, and a clearly understood method for applying those values in the real world.
This is the job of parenting, and it is neither easy nor instinctive. Over the years, I've interviewed literally hundreds of parents ñ from doctors to farmers to artists, from every religious and cultural background - to learn what they want to know about raising their children. I came away from those interviews certain that what they all wanted was to give their children the best possible values to meet today's challenging world. I became convinced that everyone could use some help, and I was prompted right then and there to contribute my ideas toward a better tomorrow for all our children.