Clash of the Mind and Heart

This book is not just for parents! While it was initially written for them, increasingly adults working with adolescents also sought help. I tried putting something together specifically for these adults but found that the content is also in this book. These are some common woes of adolescents and adults about each other - "My parents don't understand me.", "Why is my child emotionally explosive all the time?", "My parents are always nagging.", "Teens cannot seemed to be able to think about the consequence first before acting!" The understanding-divide between adolescents and adults seems to be getting wider. Concretely on a day-to-day basis, adolescents and parents are clashing with each other over mind and heart issues; and no one seemed to be able to "get" the other. Even if one "got it", it would not take long before one would challenge the other about it. Neuroscience has informed us that the divide has always been there and will continue to be there because it is developmental. The prefrontal cortex will only be fully developed about ten years after the limbic system becomes fully functional. These two areas are primarily responsible for setting and achieving goals, and behavioural-emotional responses, respectively. The implication of this reality is huge, and it explains the "clash of the mind and heart" issues at so many levels; specifically, rational-emotional conflict during adult-adolescent engagement. One of the ways to reduce that conflict is to heighten the understanding of adult-child developmental realities and learn the strategies that would help the other succeed. Such endeavours seemed to benefit only the adult more because they seemed to be more matured developmentally, but if we know how to help adolescents appreciate the realities, they are able to also benefit from it and manage the constant "clashing" with the adults. Thus, this book proposes the framework and strategies to help youths succeed and includes some stories of professional youth work, where effective youth engagement strategies are highlighted by youths themselves in retrospect.