Getting a Grip

Have you ever read a parenting book that promised a "revolutionary" concept in parenting? Or maybe the 5 secret steps to parenting success? Were you disappointed when it didn't work the way you had hoped?

Getting a Grip was written to give parents a guide from which they can build their own unique parenting plan. One that sheds the one-size-fits-all myth and takes into account the amazing dynamic that is your individual family.

Parenting is one of life's greatest responsibilities and one of its most daunting challenges. If you have a child who is more than five minutes old, you already know what I'm talking about.

I probably read a hundred parenting books in my quest to figure out the answers I needed with all the situations I faced with my own five children and two stepchildren. I decided early on that it would be wise to seek out all the help I could get. I also found out that while they were helpful in some areas, many of those books just didn't understand the specific dynamic of my unique family.

I soon learned there is not a one-size-fits-all parenting model. Just when you think you've got them figured out, they seem to suddenly evolve and you end up wondering just who that alien creature is sitting at your kitchen table.

As they grow, they enter new phases of their development, leaving you to decide by what rules you now need to play. Then you find out that as they develop every child's needs are different. When you raise one teenager and you think you are prepared for the second...think again. Every stage seems to be an entirely different experience with each child.

In addition, parents are people too. That means we are unique individuals with personalities and value systems that also affect the dynamics of a family.

Being a parent is the toughest job you will face. It will bring you some of your deepest joys and your most intense pain. It often feels like a roller coaster ride complete with thrills, chills, twists, and turns...and a few screams for good measure.

I never set out to write a book that would tell you how to raise your children. That is ultimately between you and God. However, I do hope that this book will provide a guideline with which you can build your own framework for a parenting plan. One that you can customize for the individual and unique needs of your family.

Your children are your responsibility. Not your neighbors. Not your village. Not your government. Not even your church. Don't allow anyone or anything to be the primary influencer of their values and character. I believe God will ask me to answer for my parenting choices one day. I want to be able to say that I followed His instructions, sought His guidance when I got stuck and remained steadfast when the journey got tough. I call it "staying vertical" and it's a motto I keep close to my heart.

There is no one who knows your child better than you. Not a teacher. Not a coach. Not this book. Take all advice both in these pages and elsewhere through the filter of that basic principle. In other words, take what works for your family and leave the rest.